


It Shouldn't Have Been Like This

by KaidenThePunk



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 14:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3813802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KaidenThePunk/pseuds/KaidenThePunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>America and England sat around in the World Meeting, minds distracted, tired, and generally confused. America goes to take a breather, and then England confronts him about the mishap last night; when they should be in the meeting, but neither of them can even get each other off their minds. What will happen to their friendship? Will they become more, or crash and burn before it even starts?</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Shouldn't Have Been Like This

          At first, it seemed like any other day in the World Meeting. Germany was going over what was to be discussed, Italy was doodling on his “notes” that consisted of drawings of kittens and his friends. Japan was writing down and paying attention. England and Austria were sharing some tea that was gifted from Hungary. Spain was chatting up France and Prussia (only there because he told Germany he didn’t want to be home alone) was listening to them and just playing with little Gilbird. China was sitting over by Russia, feeling awfully uncomfortable by his scared aura, as Belarus sat intimidatingly in between the both of them. Sealand sat next to Wy despite how cold she was, but also trying to hide from England noticing him. Canada sat invisibly next to… America, who was napping. Hm. Weird. About now, America would intervene with some annoying comment and how the topics were stupid and they should all listen to the hero. England took a moment from his tea and peered over to America, looking a bit worried. While Germany was walking around and asking questions, England decided to make his way over to America, and gently nudge him awake.

         

          “Hrmm...” America muttered a tired and annoyed noise, stuffing his face further into his crossed arms, yawning softly, but remaining asleep.

 

          “….America. Are you alright? You need to wake up.” He spoke gently, trying to wake him up kindly. After a few moments without response, he got annoyed and rolled his eyes. “Fine, sleep you bloody fool. I won’t get you out of trouble with Germany this time.” England rolled his eyes and went back over to his seat.

 

          In a few moments, Germany walked over by America and promptly woke him up by smacking his head with the clipboard. America woke up, his whole body shaking as he practically jumped out of his seat in fear. How embarrassing... “Wake the hell up, America! Geez, this is really pathetic.” Germany then walked past him, continuing on his way.

 

          America groaned and sat back down in his seat, resting his head in his arms. His cheeks were flustered and he pouted, yawning loudly, trying to stay awake now. He was having trouble clearly, and then decided after a few moments to leave the room to go outside for some fresh air. Maybe a short walk will wake him up, he figured... Yeah. Better than falling asleep again and scolded by Germany again. What a jerk ass with a stick in his ass... Brr, it was sort of cold, and it looked like it may rain... He decided to go ahead anyways. He huddled in his jacket and continued to walk, calming his mind out. He couldn’t sleep at all since last night... Not after what happened….

 

          Huh? His mind was distracted by the drip of water on the tip of his nose. Before he could comprehend it, it was pouring. “Aw come on, right now? Fuck me.” America ran down the street and quickly hid in a covered alleyway, shivering in the cold and now dampness of the air, just leaning against a bring wall of what he assumed to be between two apartments. He was so exhausted still... And he shivered, hating the fact he chose to go out. How dumb, America...

 

          England was quick to notice that America was gone for quite some time, and he had heard the rain pouring. It rained often here, as they were currently having the meeting in England’s home. He decided to excuse himself, and go out to find America. He was slightly hesitant though, not sure how to face him. He shrugged off the insecurities and grabbed his black umbrella, with a wooden handle. He held it tightly in his gloves, and went out. For a while, he couldn’t find anything... He even looked in between the building until... America? He rushed over to the shivering figure sitting on the ground, and gently placing the umbrella over his head.

 

          “England..?” America questioned, his head looking up to him, to the umbrella, and then back to him. “What are you doing out here?”

 

          “Looking for you, you git.” England bopped his head with the end of the umbrella handle, and reached a hand out. “You’re gonna get sick out here. I can’t have someone who’s sick as hell staying over tonight.”

 

          “You’re still going to let me in your house? After...?”

 

          “It was nothing, America. You shouldn’t worry about it. Now come on you fat fool, they say idiots can’t catch colds, but I’m sure they can in this kind of weather.”

 

          “Wow, I was about to thank you too.” America laughed nervously, thinking for a moment. Yeah, that was.. That was nothing. They were still friends who were assholes to each other and nothing more. He then reached his hand out to grab England’s, but accidently pulling England down on top of him. “Oh shit-!!”

 

          “Bah! You godforsaken—Ugh!” England shoved America away and quickly stood up. He wiped himself off, and America laughed again.

 

          America got up on his own this time and gently patted England’s shoulder, who was turned away and blushing darkly. “Heh, sorry about that England. Too strong for my own good, I guess.”

 

          “Whatever! Let’s just head back, alright?” England yelled a bit rushed and angrily, making his way back.

 

          “E-England...” America felt a bit bad, but sighed. He followed behind him, catching up with his fast pace after a few moments. “…I’m sorry. About last night, that is.”

 

          “I said whatever. It was nothing. It meant nothing. I don’t like you that way, and you don’t like me that way. Done and done. Now let’s never talk about it again.”

 

          America stopped, getting a bit defensive now. “What the hell do you know?” He spoke, stepping forward. England stopped, and turned around.

 

          “What are you going on about?” England glared at him, adjusting the umbrella. He got impatient and turned around again as America had gotten hesitant. “Come on. We have no time for banter now, we need to get back to the meeting.”

 

          “No!” America grabbed his wrist, and England only turned slightly, trying to get his wrist out of America’s grasp.

 

          “You goddamned- Thick headed—Let go of me!”

 

          “I won’t! Because… Because you don’t understand that I love you, England!” America’s voice was loud and shaky and obviously filled with the nervousness any person giving a goddamn confession would.

 

          “…You’re a fool, America. You wouldn’t understand love if it smacked you in the face.” England ripped his arm out of America’s grasp and turned away, as if hiding. “I can’t tell you what you’re feeling. But it’s not love. You’re confused. It was a fleeting moment’s thing.”

 

          “England, you don’t understand. I do love you. And I’ve known this for a long time! Even... Even when I was young, I knew how much I loved you!”

 

          England grabbed his head and shook it. “Look, drop it America! I told you were not talking about this. What would you know about love?”

         

          America clenched his fist, and held back tears. “I-I clearly understand more than you give m-me credit for!” He was on the verge of tears, and clearly very angry at the same time. “I… I’m an adult, and I have been for a while. A-Are you not accepting my confession because you still see me as a child? Well... Well I’m not! If you… If you don’t share my feelings, it’s fine, but at least let me know up front like an actual fucking adult!”

 

          England could here America’s held back sob, and the sniffles as he tried his best to not cry. He looked to the ground as if pained. He didn’t know how to reply. “America…”

 

          “Why, England? Why do you still see me as this child you hold on so tightly to? That’s not me anymore. But you can’t seem to let it go at all.” America cried, walking up to him again, laying his head into England’s hair, and wrapping his arms around his from behind. “I want you to love me. Not as your little brother. But as a person, who’s standing here doing his best to confess to you as he can.”

 

          England’s hands reached up the arms around him, and he leaned slightly into his arms. “…I’m sorry. It’s just… So hard to do so. I do love you, America. But it’s not that easy to explain.”

 

          America was silent again, quietly sobbing into his shoulder as the rain slowly calmed down. He broke the silence after a while, removing his arms from around him. “I guess it’s late to say this now… But I always want to be with you. Just not in the way you want.”

 

          “Maybe not…” England turned to him, and reached a hand up to his cheek. He seemed to be in thought for a moment, before reaching up to kiss him gently. America slightly shocked by this, went ahead and melted into the kiss, returning it back as softly as he could. “…Maybe so.” He said as they broke off the kiss.

          “Oi, lovebirds. There’s not even an hour left to the meeting, West told me to get your asses back inside.” Prussia’s voice broke them from their minds, and they both blushed furiously.

 

          Embarrassed, they went back inside with Prussia, apologizing to Germany, and sitting in their respective seats as chaos ensued around them, they didn’t really join in on it. They couldn’t move their focus from each other. Maybe last night wasn’t so bad. Maybe... They could work this out somehow. Or maybe they would forever be trapped in this loop of anger, emotions, lashing outs and never being together… But we don’t know for now.

 

* * *

 

**Last Night…**

          America sat on England’s couch, currently waiting for him to join him. The World meeting was tomorrow, so England allowed America to stay over and even convinced him to watch a scary movie with him. He was under some soft blankets he had brought over, embroidered with his own flag all over them. He was jumpy and so excited. He loved scary movies. Even better, he loved watching them with England! Because England was one of the only one that can deal with the hero’s totally screams of joy from the movie! He is never scared! He waited patiently, and then soon England joined him, sitting on the couch, and grabbing the remote.

 

          “Why did you want me to watch this bloody thing with you again?” England asked in annoyance, gently grabbing at America’s blankets because they were snuggly, and a sort of excuse if he fell asleep on him or something.

 

          “Because, it’s a really good movie, I heard! Tony rated it 9/10!” America smiled, putting a thumbs up.

 

          “Why only 9?”

 

          “Eh, he said not enough aliens. I mean duhh, it’s a zombie movie, of course! Tony’s silly, but you know that.” He laughed, and told England to start the movie. It started up, and America stopped all his bouncing and focused intently on the screen.

 

          England rolled his eyes and sighed. He was going to watch it of course, but he wasn’t as intrigued by horrors at America was. He preferred mysteries and romance. But whatever made him happy, he supposed. It was merely the beginning and America was already clinging tightly to him, shaking. He knew this is what he had to deal with for the next fear hours. Whatever.

 

          Somewhere about half way through the movie, America’s face was buried against England’s sleeping shirt, and he sighed, reaching his arm up to gently pet his head, in attempt to console him. He couldn’t help but think about how much he actually liked it when America came to him for love and support, he found it cute...

 

          He mentally smacked himself, as feelings that won’t supposed to be there start flooding his mind.

          America was shaking and clinging to England, and after a few moments of quiet, he looked up to England. He was looking at him. And England didn’t seem to bother looking away. There was… Something about being in England’s arms that gave him a strong sense of love and comfort. His eyes were slightly half lidded, and England’s face bared a blush, and gentle eyes.

 

Without realizing it, they both slowly went in for a kiss, America’s hand brushing England’s cheek. He held it, kissing him so sweetly and lovingly. He broke it and kissed him again, and again a few times. He soon had England’s back against the couch, and he was kissing him deeper than before. Soon, he glided his tongue past England’s lips, holding him closer. England let out a soft moan, his hands gliding into America’s soft, blonde hair... America himself was presuming a dominant role, one hand against the couch, other around his back lifting him close to him.

 

          BAM AND SCREAM, the TV roared a sudden loud noise, which broke them both out of their trance and snap back into reality. America let out a terrified scream and jumped back. England stared him into the eyes and then quick reflexes took him over. He smacked America’s face, and backed away, shoving him. “Wh-What the bleeding biscuits was _that_?!” He spewed, getting off the couch.

 

          America blushed darkly, “I could only ask you the same thing!”

 

          “You’re the one that had me pinned on the couch!”

                  

          “You had kissed me first!”

 

          “Ugh! Whatever.” England just ran out the door and quickly ran to his room, just sick of this shit.

 

          “W-Wait…! England, Don’t…!” America watched as he slammed the door and sighed. He turned off the movie and sighed, heart pounding and lip’s tingling. He placed his fingers across his lips, trying to clear his mind, but he could only think about how amazing that felt… What could’ve possibly gotten into both of their minds to have just suddenly… Do _that_? America... He was aware of these feelings, but he always tried to push them far to the back of his mind... Even back during the time when he fought for independence from England, he knew he loved him… But his country came first, and he refused to be seen as just a brother to him anymore.

 

          His head started to hurt. He decided it was best to call it a night, right? Since clearly England wasn’t going to talk to him, and it was way too late to find a hotel… He slowly made his way back to the guest room, and laid down to bed, hoping he would be asleep soon. But then again, that was also very difficult, because every time he shut his eyes, that look that England gave him before they locked lips was engraved deeply into his brain. England couldn’t… England couldn’t see him as nothing more than a brother though, could he? He didn’t believe that England did. No. Even after all these years, England saw him nothing more than just a little brother he was to take care of… Of course… He squeezed his eyes shut and hid under the covers in frustration.

 

          England laid in his own bed now, cheeks as bright as a cherry bottom. He covered himself with his covers, sniveling and being very annoyed. “Damn that America, catching me off guard like that…” He spoke quietly to himself, brushing his own hair from over his eyes. Could he have felt a spark, looking at him like that? Did America… Love him, in a way that deviated from normal friendly/family like love? He knew it wasn’t healthy for him to see America as his little brother anymore, but that hadn’t meant he still didn’t consider him family. But England knew his love for America in the recent years had run far deeper than that. He never wanted to let America know that however, which is probably why he reacted in such a manner… Maybe it would be better to go back and apologize… No, it was too late… America was probably sleeping for the meeting tomorrow by now. His heart tried to leap out of his chest, it almost felt like… He sighed, covering his face with his hands.

 

          “…I love you, America. But can you ever fully comprehend it? Because I don’t think even I can.” Were the last words he muttered before he decided to stop talking to himself now, and he shut his eyes to rest.

 

          America stayed awake for the next few hours, having more trouble with falling asleep. “I wish… You could understand my love in the way I see it, England… I love you so much.” He held back wanting to cry, and fell asleep finally.


End file.
